VT Works

Imagine when you wake up tomorrow morning the world being different. Lights are brighter, sounds more piercing, smells are repulsive, your morning routine is replaced by bouts of dizziness and nausea, double vision, heat waves shimmering in your peripheral vision, spasms of muscles in your head and neck that you never knew existed, and the knowledge that returning to the previous version of yourself, the version that went to bed just eight hours prior, would be a long painful road of doctor visits, rehabilitative specialists, and mental health professionals – and there is no guarantee you would ever get there.

Any volunteers?

Sit back for a minute and think about yourself this morning and the steps you took in preparing to leave the house. How much of what occurred was automatic? How much of it could you have done with your eyes closed? If you’re like me, you may already have. How much of it was similar or identical to the steps you took a million times previous to today? Now imagine having just one symptom mentioned in the first paragraph. Could you have taken a shower being extremely sensitive to sound? As an aside, the next time you shower, try doing it with your eyes closed and really listen to it all and pay attention to all the sudden noises that occur. Could you brush your teeth when extremely dizzy? How do you think a hair dryer would sound and feel? Use an electric razor? How does that whirring noise seem on your overly sensitive ears? Could you have made breakfast for yourself or your children? Carried a warm cup of coffee or tea to the table? Trying driving to work seeing double or being startled every time someone or something appears in your periphery. How far do you think you’d get? Could you do your job? Most of us today are reliant upon a computer screen for at least part of our day, but how do you continue when the screen is so bright it makes your eyes water, your head hurt, and multiplies your nausea ten-fold? If you suddenly became less productive at work do you feel like you could explain the reasons to your boss? How long do you think he/she/they would understand? Humanity aside, business is business and they hired you to do a job that helps them pay the bills. What happens to employees who cannot maintain their value? How do you think your evenings would feel after a day of living this way? Just writing it out makes me want to take a nap! Would you feel exhausted? Frustrated? Overwhelmed? Worthless? And let’s ponder the cognitive and comparative side. You KNOW how things used to be, you KNOW what your brain is (was) capable of, and you KNOW how much worse things are now, but can you ignore all of those feelings and thoughts and continue about your day?

Some may find this example a bit dramatic. Some may say it’s an exaggeration drawn out to make a point. Some may even deny or dismiss the idea as the rambling of someone with nothing better to do. And all of those thoughts might be true. But make no mistake, there are people in the world who experience this daily, often, and without relief. And in this state, they must face the fact that there is no road map, no pill, no operation, and no obvious protocol for a guaranteed recovery. There is only time, patience, and reliance on others. Conventional wisdom might lead us to our family doctor or even a local medical facility, where they may choose to test further and maybe not, but it really doesn’t matter. Those tests will come out showing nothing significant.

And so we are left at home, feeling awful, unable to work, barely able to care for ourselves, becoming accustomed to the dizziness and nausea, at times unable to think clearly or linearly, trying desperately to explain what is going on through a fog of frustration, dizziness, anxiety, and confusion.

Any volunteers?