VT Works

As a function of personal growth, I’ve been diving into different perspectives on the human experience. Podcasts from Psychologists, lectures by Psychiatrists, studies presented by Sociologists, and even made it through a one-day seminar (online) by an Anthropologist. My goal in doing all of this is to better understand what motivates people – or better yet – makes them tick. Why do people follow social norms without questioning the values of the process? Why is it frowned upon when we decide to ignore cultural expectations? Why are we so programmed by society to dislike certain situations (like the dentist) when most of us really have never had an experience worse than a minor inconvenience? The interesting factoid uncovered in the fusion of all these ideas is that, as a human race, we haven’t really changed all that much. Our DNA has not changed significantly in the 40,000 years that have passed since the Cro Magnon people, and according to some research, evidence suggests their brains in general were larger and more capable than modern man. Oddly, and perhaps interestingly, there is evidence that cultural norms and societal pressures were alive even among those first recorded societies thousands of years ago. Of course they were not concerned with social media or fanciest clothing, but rather, the fads of their era.

The common thread here, at least for me, is understanding the general perception of society at large; and more specifically, how that perception relates to someone who has suffered a concussion and experiences symptoms long after they “should feel better.”

That phrase (should feel better) creates a pressure so immense and a sense of judgment so powerful, one concussion can ripple through a community and place such unneeded strain on the person trying to feel better, the outcome of which can be devastating. It’s a concept that causes such strife in my life, as someone who not only has experienced a head injury but also as someone who tries to help others who have suffered the same fate. Why does the opinion of others matter so much? I’m sure someone out there believes we shouldn’t let the opinions of others bother us, and in most other circumstances, I might be inclined to agree – except with concussions. It’s not the same.

One podcast of interest has been between three psychologists discussing human interaction, and the preconceived concepts and ideas most of us bring to the table. The idea of what love really looks like, how we treat our fellow humans, and even bathroom etiquette differs from person to person, from country to country, and even from generation to generation, but why? What one class, race, generation, or society may have considered “weak or wimpy”, might be considered a significant medical issue in future generations. Take PTSD, for instance. In the early 1900’s, “shell shock” was often dismissed and treated with a degree of shame and reverence. Fast forward to 2022, and more research than ever is available on the many causes of PTSD, it’s serious and lasting effects, and the treatments seem to be advancing by the day. The conversation between these three doctors challenges the idea of “my way” and diagrams how we all get stuck in our own rabbit holes, most times without knowing. To be clear, this is not a criticism – more like an attempt to bring an overall awareness of our “autopilot” tendencies and how hurtful and destructive they can be to those around us. It’s important to stay in the moment.

An interesting offshoot was with the idea of empathy versus sympathy. Empathy is all about connection, while sympathy is all about distance. Empathy looks to foster connection, while sympathy offers pity. Empathy offers listening without judgment or attempts to give advice, while sympathy tends to be just the opposite. But how do you empathize with someone who has had a concussion? Can you listen to the descriptions of their daily challenges while remaining free from judgment? Can you stay in a space of wonder rather than allowing your own preconceived thoughts and feelings to creep into the conversation? Can you remain empathetic and fight the urges to become sympathetic? Most of us would like to say “yes”. Most of us would like to believe we are in a constant state of empathy when working with patients – myself included. But alas, we are human, and our abilities to remove our own judgment and life experiences from a situation are always going to be murky, even for the strongest among us. It’s interesting how creating this awareness, though, of the idea of empathy versus sympathy can make such a big difference in the Vision Therapy room – at least, it did for me.

Over the next few weeks, I’d like to dive a bit further into this topic as it applies to Vision Therapy. Let’s examine how our own experiences influence the care we offer and really ask ourselves “Am I feeling sorry for someone or am I feeling sorry with them?” Until we get there, though, I’d like to pose a simple question to those who encounter someone with a challenge and ask you to keep it in mind throughout your next encounter:

How well are you really listening?